INTRO: 

Hey, it’s Julie and welcome to the Corporate Yogi podcast.
So this episode, like most of my episodes, was inspired by one of my brilliant clients.
Ever found yourself wondering, How do I get my team to step up and do more? take more responsibility, get more work done, be more creative.

And here’s the Tough Love summary of this episode:
*Whenever your team isn’t showing up how you want them to, it’s time to hold up the mirror and check in on your leadership.

I’m sure you’ve heard the saying, people don’t leave companies, they leave managers. Meaning, sigh, sometimes as leaders, it’s actually our fault.

Yuck

I hate having to admit that, I wanna go take a shower right now

Well this episode is full of Tough Love, we’re going to talk about HOW you show up as a leader, and how this impacts everyone else around you. Spoiler alert, if you’re trying to act too competent, you might be inviting your team to be lazy.

Shocking, I know.  
So here’s a look at what you’re going to learn today:
1) First, I’m going to share the massive breakthrough my client had
2) In the 2nd segment I’ll explain his massive breakthrough
3) In the 3rd segment I share 5 Tips you can use as a leader to get your team to step up
So get out of your head and into your heart and let’s dive right in shall we.

SEGMENT 1:

So here’s the conversation I had with my client

We were talking about his team, and he explained that no matter how hard he tried and how nicely he asked, he could NOT get his team to share any ideas or participate in a brainstorming session. He had tried many times over the years. Bottom line, his team just wasn’t creative.
At this point, my spidey sense is going off like crazy, double time, bc something just didn’t add up.
here he is, this incredibly dynamic and confident leader, with a highly skilled and hard-working team, who spends most of their days interacting with their clients. BUT whenever he would hold a meeting asking them to share ideas on how to improve their service or grow the biz, or bring new products forward, he got crickets….

They had ZERO creative ideas to share with him.
C’mon now. Something here just doesn’t add up.

Hey, remember the Tough Love theme for this episode,
*Whenever your team isn’t showing up how you want them to, it’s time to hold up the mirror and check in on your leadership.

Here’s the first place I went looking was to ask…

Do you ACTUALLY really want them to come up with creative ideas?
Of course, he said immediately
Well, it’s just that sometimes, conceptually, on paper we think we want others to participate and share ideas and make suggestions. But in reality we’re actually quite enamored with OUR ideas and in love our creativity. So we might find ourselves SAYING we want their ideas, but in truth, WE like being the creative one, the hero that comes up with all the brilliant ideas.

Do YOU ever do this?

I sure have been guilty of this, it’s typically a sign of a controlling pattern being present in our leadership. 

For instance: There might be 3 perfect good solutions to a problem, but we actually like our solution the best… bc well, it’s our solution… and we like it more for THAT reason
Admitting this is hard, cause it means we’re not actually being that inspirational servant leader we aspire to be.

How can we be, if we’re hogging the creative airways and not really listening to other people.
I asked my client again, are you SURE you want them to share their ideas?
Client, Two years ago you would have been right, I was attached to all my ideas and wanted everything done my way, but the truth is, today we’re so busy, I really do need their help and yes I actually do want their creative ideas.

OK, so let’s look under another rock.

Then I asked him, HOW are you showing up when you ask them for ideas.
– What do you mean, How am I showing up?

I said to him: Well, what are you communicating with your physical presence?
What was your state?
Your body language?
Were you warm and inviting, giving space and creating a safe container where people can share their ideas? 

Bottom line, did you set them up for success, or did you just spring it on them like a hot potato?
And now, I had my client’s attention. The penny was dropping slow-motion, and he was really recognizing that his presence, how he showed up with his team was making all the difference in how they were responding, or in this case, not responding.

The dead giveaway here is that zero creative ideas were being shared.

That’s a highly improbable scenario, if you have a great team.

And this is the point for most of us where we have to hold up the MIRROR, and ask how we are creating our reality? What can we take responsibility for in this situation?
Our Tough Love lesson today is,
*Whenever your team isn’t showing up how you want them to, it’s time to hold up the mirror and check in on your leadership.

So here my client was curious and had an open mind, but he was still pretty stuck on his story that his team had zero creative ideas. Afterall, he’d been telling this story for years, and he really had convinced himself it was true.

So we brainstormed a few different techniques he could use with the team, and he decided to switch things up a bit for their next meeting, 

So the next week, we jump on our call, and guess what happened?

SEGMENT 2:

Well, when my client showed up the next week….
He was blown away at ALL the creative ideas the team came up with and how much they shared in the meeting. And a few of the new creative ideas had already been put into place.

What exactly did my client do to turn things around with the team? There are 3 main things to take away, and I’ll walk you through all 3 in a second.

But before I do, I want to really acknowledge this client for being so open to trying out new techniques with the team and owning the possibility that the problem might be with his leadership, and not with the team’s lack of creativity.

It’s so easy for us to get stuck in our own stories, especially when we tell them over and over again.

He was so stuck in his story in fact, that he missed what we affectionately call a leadership blind spot.

When we talk about Leadership Blind Spots we are referring to unconscious aspects of our leadership that are often rooted in a belief, pattern, habit or undeveloped skill that limits our impact and ability as a leader

We ALL blind spots. It’s just part of the growth process.

Having a blind spot doesn’t make you a bad leader, no one can fault you for having them, the only negative aspect of a blind spot is when we resist owning it and refuse to accept that WE might be the source of the problem.

In my experience, great leaders are quick to own their blind spots once they are made conscious AND they’re quick to turn things around and remedy them. 

And this leader did not disappoint, he was so excited to tell me exactly what happened with the team and how these simple changes he made had a huge impact.
It’s our Blind Spots that cause our Our Tough Love,
*Whenever your team isn’t showing up how you want them to, it’s time to hold up the mirror and check in on your leadership.

OK, so my client did 3 key things with the team:

The First change was a technique called FADING. If you’re running a meeting and you jump in after every single comment to vote on whether that idea will work or not, then in no uncertain terms you’re being a killjoy. This can be intimidating and let’s face it, annoying. So Fading or leading from behind means we let go of our external power. Just bc we ARE the head of the team, or bc we called the meeting, doesn’t mean we have to always be flexing those muscles. With an in-person meeting this means, no sitting at the head of the boardoom table (if you have one).  You might even get up from the table and stand towards the back of the room, or in a corner, so you’re not physically dominant and seen as running the meeting. Fading can be done, physically, verbally and energetically. And just a note, it does NOT mean pulling out your phone or tuning out, absolutely not, this will be notices. You want to stay fulling engaged and drink in every single word, you just aren’t driving the meeting.

The 2^nd thing my client did, was accommodate different personalities – specifically Introverts and Extraverts. Now I am generalizing here, but in their purest sense, Extraverts love off-the-cuff brainstorming sessions, they love to share ideas that are top of mind for them, without thinking them through fully, and they love the energy present with a large group of people. Making an extravert work on their own in pure isolation is sheer torture for them.
Introverts on the other hand, like lots of advance notice, they do want the agenda in advance, they don’t want something sprung on them, they like to think things through fully before they share an idea, and sometimes it can be hard for them to contribute to a very dynamic conversation.

So I always suggested you send out a heads up agenda in advance, for those who want it. Others may not care, or even read it, and that is fine. But it is there for those who will benefit from it, and want to do a bit of thinking or prep in advance. Also, you might want to design in different methods of contributing ideas, if you’re in person, you can write down ideas on post-it notes and share them on a white board, or consolidate them. If you’re meeting virtually you can use the chat feature so everyone can share ideas simultaneously, you could also have a Google sheet available that everyone can contribute to.

The third thing he did to engage the team was he created psychological safety for the session.
THAT is such a juicy buzz word, isn’t it?
Psychological safety is the understanding that you can contribute and engage with your team without any fear of negative consequences.
Amy Edmondson, defines it as
‘A SHARED BELIEF HELD BY MEMBERS OF A TEAM THAT THE TEAM IS SAFE FOR INTERPERSONAL RISK-TAKING’ .

To establish psychological safety, my client framed up the meeting with a few prompts that actually encouraged people to share all their ideas. Now these may feel really obvious, bc they’re top of mind to you about what kind of dynamic you want to create with the team, but it is REALLY important to say these out loud and share them at the start of the meeting. Here’s a few examples of prompts you can use with the team:
1- During this session I want you to share all your ideas > all ideas are valid ideas > and I want to hear from all voices, regardless of title or rank
2- The wackier the better, bc they always lead to something else
3- There’s “No judgement” in this space, of yourself or of others
4- don’t filter yourself, if it popped into your head, someone else is thinking it too.

• And lastly #5, I would also add something complimentary and sincere here about how much you appreciate the team, and all their ideas, so you really set the stage to hear from them

The other part of creating psychological safety with his team was that he stopped putting a label of good or bad on ideas as people shared them. I know his intentions were good, and normally immediate feedback is a good thing, but in this environment, it’s best to just let the ideas flow freely…. Without any labels.

OK recapping those 3 things that my client did here to swing open the floodgates of creativity with his team:

First –  Fading, and this can be done, physically, verbally and energetically.

Second – accommodate different personality types. People learn in different ways and people share ideas in different ways.
And the third thing he did, was to create psychological safety with his team. Set the tone with those different prompts.

SEGMENT 3:
So this story with my client really demonstrates that HOW we show up as a leader, impacts HOW our team shows up and contributes.

And sadly, I don’t think a lot of leaders really spend any time thinking about this. Do you? Do you ever think about HOW you show up to your team, or to other groups you work with?
Do you consciously have different ways to show up in different situations?

Are you always flexing your Boss muscle, and operating from external power?
Sometimes in our desire to live up to the (air quotes) responsibility of the title leader, we act differently than we normally would, rather than running a meeting with our authentic self, we resort to external power and authority. And yes, I do want you to show up as confident with your team, but I want it to be authentic.
There’s a real danger in operating from external power all the time…
Our Intended Impact is that we want to instill confidence around the table in our ability to lead, however what ends up happening is that we give the impression that we’ve got it, and the unintended impact is that people think we don’t actually need help. Or in the case of my client, the team thought he was so confident and enamored with his ideas, they felt he didn’t really need their ideas. 
Now I’ve used the example of brainstorming and sharing creative ideas, but this can play out in so many areas of biz.

Another common area I see this theme play out.

A client comes to me and says, I really wish Kerry would step up more and own his role and take initiative. 

And yeah, this can be really frustrating when someone doesn’t step up to do what we think we should be doing.
And yes, it might be them, AND it might be something else…. 

Know where I’m going with this?

did you memorize our Our Tough Love lesson yet?
*Whenever your team isn’t showing up how you want them to, it’s time to hold up the mirror and check in on your leadership.

They might see us as leaders that love to micromanage, and not wanting to give away our Legos, so they’re worried they’ll step on our toes, so they lean back a bit and don’t take initiative.
We assume they’re being lazy,
they are trying to not overstep their bounds.
Do you see how this misalignment happens?
And to be honest, I see this most off with newer managers, this is one of the things we just learn in the field, in real time.
So a dance of assumptions starts to happen, then the assumptions turn into resentments, and so on.

A great way to guarantee that you avoid this is by creating your Relationship Design up front, then you can both address this in advance and maybe create a situational blueprint around it.
If you want a refresher of Relationship Design, head back to episode # 198.
 So I want to recap some of the tips you learned in this episode, which will influence how you show up as a leader. I’ve got 5 tips for you. Here we go,
# 1. Use the technique of Fading.
This includes physically, verbally and energetically. We sometimes call this leading from the back. Remember that powerful leadership are dynamic leaders, they have many settings on their dial, and they don’t have to always be the loudest one in the room consuming all the oxygen.

2. Accommodate all personalities on your team.
A great place to start is to always think in terms of Introverts and extraverts. And if you really feel stuck here and you’re not sure if you’re accommodating everyone… then simply ask. Ask in your 1:1 meetings. Instead of putting them on the spot and saying, hey do you feel included in our meetings, you could simply ask, do you have any suggestions on how I could improve the meeting, or ask them to email you later on or bring some ideas next week. Then, I want you to be open to trying new methods. Don’t get stuck on just doing it one way. When I run a meeting or a session, I never want it to be the Julie Show.
Tip 3. Use various methods and collaboration tools.
I don’t know about you, but nothing makes me want to hit my head against a wall then when I’m sitting in a meeting and someone says, hey let’s brainstorm some ideas, like creativity is a magical pixie fairy that just drops out of the ceiling tiles and showers us all with creative brilliance on demand…. Just like that.
How about some context, or creative setup, tools, or structure or exercise to get the juices flowing? I don’t know about you, but nothing turns my creativity off more than someone trying to put my creativity on the spot.
Tip # 4. Create a safe space,
let everyone know that there are no bad ideas, anything goes, and sometimes it’s the wackiest, left field ideas that lead to the best ideas.
And tip #5
– If you are the HIPPO in a meeting, make sure you never share your ideas first.
And hippo, H-I-P-P-O is an acronym for the highest paid person’s opinion, or the highest paid person in the office, If you are the hippo, and you share your ideas first, you will influence many other people’s opinion. If you truly want their opinion, then do everything in your power to create a space where they’ll want to contribute first. Remember, just bc you’re the leader, doesn’t mean you have to constantly be proving how smart you are.
OK I’m going to recap those 5 tips right now for you:

And as I read them, I want you to think about which one you are willing to dive in and try right away, this week, ok?
1.  Use the technique of Fading – physically, verbally and energetically.
2. Accommodate all personalities on your team.
Tip 3. Use various methods and collaboration tools.
Tip # 4. Create a safe space, 
And tip #5
– If you are the HIPPO in a meeting, never share your ideas first.

WRAP UP:

OK it’s time to start wrapping up this episode:
Let’s recap what you just learned today.

Whether you think about it or not, HOW you show up as a leader has a massive impact on your team and others you work with. As leaders we need to be dynamic, and there’s a time and a place to flex our muscles. Different scenarios require us to dial up aspects of our leadership and dial down other aspects.
If you ever find yourself frustrated bc your team isn’t working hard enough or being creative enough, one of the places to look is in the mirror and go to inquiry:
– Do I really want their ideas?
– Am I actually giving them the space to step up?
– Am I overly enamored with my ideas, and don’t actually want to consider others?

And the 5 key tips to really show up as a leader that listens, cares and wants their team to succeed:

1.  Use the technique of Fading – physically, verbally and energetically.
2. Accommodate all personalities on your team.
Tip 3. Use various methods and collaboration tools.
Tip # 4. Create a safe space, 
And tip #5
– If you are the HIPPO in a meeting, never share your ideas first

And most importantly

did you memorize our Our Tough Love lesson yet?  Here it is – one last time for the people in the back:
*Whenever your team isn’t showing up how you want them to, it’s time to hold up the mirror and check in on your leadership.

And If you are curious about exploring YOUR blind spots and how you are showing up as a leader, head over to my website and you can book an introductory call with me, head to thecorporateyogi.com. And I look forward to chatting with you soon!

And if you liked this episode or took anything away, I would LOVE you to share this episode with at least 1 other person you know. Share the love, share the growth and share. The. Learning.

And that’s a wrap for today.

Thank YOU for tuning in and aspiring to be an even more powerful leader and for taking 1 simple action today to improve your leadership presence.