In this episode we’re talking about layoffs, specifically how to respond after your colleagues depart the company. You’ll learn the best way to respond, what to say and most importantly, what not to say. So, get out of your head, into your heart and let’s talk about layoffs.
INTRO:
Hey, it’s Julie and welcome to the Corporate Yogi podcast.
So today’s topic might be something you’ve dealt with recently through Covid, or in the past.
And if it isn’t, then count yourself lucky!
I want to talk about layoffs, and how to respond after your much-loved colleagues have been let go from the company.
One of my client’s recently went though a significant layoff and when I jumped on a call with her she was still pretty shaken up. And there’s so many aspects that make this difficult – the uncertainty, the loss, the fear, the ambiguity, the survivor’s guilt.
So in this episode I want to share some of the advice that I shared with her, on how to handle a colleague, or many colleagues being let go.
So here’s a look at what you’re going to learn today:
1) First, I’m going to explain how you can handle it
2) In the 2nd segment you’ll learn what to say AND what not to say
3) In the 3rd segment I share shocking stats about networking
So get out of your head and into your heart and let’s dive right in shall we.
SEGMENT 1:
Let’s jump back into the story with my client. In addition to the shock she was struggling with from what happened yesterday, she was also struggling to decide whether or not to reach out to her colleagues who were laid off the day before.
I get it, this can be feel like an awkward situation.
And bc it’s awkward and we anticipate an uncomfortable conversation, our Saboteurs jump into full force, specifically our Stay Quiet Saboteur.
In episode 199 I introduced you to the “Stay Quiet Saboteur” who doesn’t want to rock the boat, doesn’t want to get uncomfortable, or have awkward conversations, or get embarrassed by saying the wrong things OR worse yet, hurt other people’s feelings by saying the wrong thing. In that episode I mainly addressed the Stay Quiet Saboteur and how it shows up when we consider having anti-racism conversations, however it can show up in any difficult situations, especially this one – with layoffs or terminations
So here’s what I would advise, when in doubt – definitely reach out.
Your stay quiet saboteur has all kinds of BS excuses to NOT reach out
And truly, when we presence all of these Saboteur messages, we realize just how silly they are.
So when in doubt – definitely reach out
And by reaching out, I mean sending them a quick email to acknowledge what happened, asking if there’s anything you can do to help, and if they’d like to have coffee or a phone chat sometime – that you’re always available.
That is 100% safe, the ball is in their court, they’re not obligated to meet with you, but they know that you care, and you’re there if/when they need you
The truth is, everyone processes these situations differently. Some people may just go dark for weeks and not want to be in touch. Others may feel isolated and will really want to talk to others.
I wouldn’t suggest phoning someone, dropping by their house, or doing anything up close and personal. Unless, that is, you had a close friendship, and that is normal behaviour.
But reaching out via email or maybe text or chat, then you have opened the door and if they do want to talk, they know you’re always there.
Put yourself in their shoes, would you want an entire company of people who you’ve worked with for YEARS to all of a sudden ghost you?
I certainly wouldn’t, I think that’s a crappy way to treat people.
And the longer you leave it, the more awkward it gets,
So when in doubt – definitely reach out
The other thing to realize is that often when people are let go, they can feel a lot of shame and embarrassment. Even though they really shouldn’t. It’s often never personal.
Being told to pack up your things immediately, into a bankers box, and simply just walk away from everything you’ve been working on, your responsibilities, all your workplace relationships, and connections and partners, and just pick up and leave within hours, heck that is traumatic. And then whenever you bump into someone on the street or at a networking event, there is always that awkwardness, of words left unsaid.
I often hear people tell me they feel like a pariah when they’ve left a company, and don’t feel like they can reach out to someone. This makes it 10 times worse, because not only have they lost their job, but now they’ve potentially lost all the business and networking connections from that company too. Layoffs can truly leave trauma, bc there is so much ambiguity and there is rarely on opportunity for anyone to get closure and really speak their mind.
Years ago I reconnected with an old colleague for drinks when she was in Toronto for work. When we met for drinks, it had been over 10 years that we had worked together, and as soon as I sat down at the table, within 5 minutes she immediately went into a narrative about how she was let go from that company and never should have been, she had very specific and extremely unkind things to say about the manager she’d worked work, and what a big mistake they made bc she was so smart, and telling me how competent she was and how successful she is at her current job.
I was happy to let her vent and release what she needed to get off her chest, but I was shocked by how raw and current this pain felt as she was telling the story. She had clearly kept the anger and rage alive and stoked the fire all these years, more than 10 years later. And I know she’s not the only one.
Have you heard that saying, Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.
So when in doubt – definitely reach out
Now there is one obvious caveat here.
There may be a request from your employer to NOT reach out to employees who were laid off or let go. And if that is the case, then I would advise you to follow that. Sometimes there’s more to the story than we know about, and if that is the situation, then I would take heed of what you’ve been advised and not reach out.
However, in all my years of being at companies that have had layoffs, I’ve never been told we CAN’T be in touch with former employees. I think it might be more common if a person was terminated, which is a different situation, bc then it could get legal and there are greater complexities. So that is a little tricky.
But straight up layoffs, there should not be a problem.
So when in doubt – definitely reach out
SEGMENT 2:
So you’ve decided to accept my excellent advice to reach out and now, you’re struggling to know what to say.
Here’s a few tips to remember
There is a possibility, they will be angry and have some less than flattering comments for the company and/or their manager, or others in the company. This is perfectly normal, and a common response. Try to remain in integrity. When they share thoughts you don’t have to agree with them, you can just listen to them and say I understand, I hear you. But please don’t get dragged into their secret revenge plot or jeopardize your job.
And here’s a list of things not to say:
Try to stay away from all Toxic Positivity language, that is overly cheery, ultra positive, super sunny because it is 100% patronizing, and you don’t want to make statements or promises you can’t guaranteed.
Here’s a list of 5 things you definitely don’t want to say:
And I want to share a note on this last one, that when we are laid off, it is for a reason, and we’re going to be better off. Now I’m a very spiritual person, and I’m guessing (since you listen to this podcast) that you are too. And I do believe that in most scenarios when we get laid off, fired or forced out of a job in any situation, that it does happen for a reason, typically a higher reason for us to either move on to a new role, learn something about ourselves or about others. But here’s the catch, we often can’t see that lesson, until we move through it and get to the new place. So even though I know it’s a gift, and you know it’s a gift, and likely your colleague does too (albeit deep down inside) this is NOT the time or place to be play “sage on the stage” and instill your wisdom and turn this into a teachable moment. Keep this wisdom tucked away to yourself for now. And when they’re through it and they see the lesson, be a good friend and let them bring YOU the lesson.
Remember that nothing you’re going to say is going to make them feel better, and it’s not meant to. You’re not reaching out to them to fix anything. You’re reaching out to be a good human, to acknowledge what happened to them, to offer your help, and to make sure they know that your relationship can continue, even though you aren’t colleagues any longer.
OK here’s a quick recap of the 5 tips:
SEGMENT 3:
So far in the episode, we’ve talked about the specific scenario of a colleague being laid off, but there’s many other scenarios where this advice applies.
Let’s see how close you’ve been paying attention here:
Let’s say you notice on LinkedIn that a colleague you worked with years ago is looking for work. Do you
a) ignore it and pretend you didn’t even see it?
b) Notice it, stop and take a big sigh and think, geeze I’m so glad that isn’t me
c) Ping them immediately and offer your help or to meet for a virtual coffee?
What did you answer?
I’m hoping you answered C, cause that’s the best answer for Being Human!
Again, put yourself in their shoes, what would YOU want?
If you were out of work, would you prefer it if your entire network was just ignoring you and feeling sorry for you, OR would you want them to all be out there looking for jobs on your behalf and keeping you top of mind.
Remember my example earlier – what would that feel like to have a whole company ghost you at the same time – that would suck.
I read a great stat in the book We should all be Millionaires about the massive impact of LinkedIn and having a vast network:
70% of professionals get hired at companies where they already have a connection
And 80% of jobs are never posted online – it’s the “hidden job market” – to find out about these jobs, you gotta know someone and get an inside tip or referral.
I have to confess, I was aware of those 2 facts, but didn’t know that the stats were that high. I’m going to read them again:
70% of professionals get hired at companies where they already have a connection
And 80% of jobs are never posted online – it’s the “hidden job market” – to find out about these jobs, you gotta know someone and get an inside tip or referral.
Bottom line – your network is gold.
I want to contrast these promising stats with some Tough Love stats about applying to jobs the old fashioned way:
It takes 10 – 20 applications to get one interview
and it takes 100 – 200+ applications to receive one job offer.
Those are pretty abysmal stats, aren’t they.
And when you hear that, doesn’t it make you want to invest in keeping your network alive and thriving?
And if you ever find yourself wondering, what could I possibly help someone out with, well guess what – you just learned some pretty juicy stats you could share with them, you could remind them that 80% of jobs are never posted online, that would help guide them in their job search.
So I have 3 extra notes for you:
#1 – LinkedIn is critical to staying connected
With the stats I just read about the hidden job market, where 80% of jobs are never posted online, I hope you’re reflecting on how much time you spend on, rather INVEST on the app.
I truly believe you can’t work in business without being on LinkedIn and investing in your network. And I’m not just saying that because I’ve coached many people at LinkedIn. I’ve been on it for years and it is not only a brilliant way to network and do business development. But it’s a great way to stay in touch with people and know where they are. In most situations, when a colleague is laid off, they’re removed from all company networks, email, slack channels, company phone, so how the heck are you going to get a hold of them? Well, with Linkedin you always, always will. Always. No matter where they move to or what company they’re at, you’ll always track them down on linkedin.
And a quick note, please be sure to ALWAYS have your personal email address connected with your LinkedIn account, then you don’t have to update it as you move around to different companies
And while we’re here, please don’t ever, ever use your work email address for your personal email communication. It’s a bad move, unless of course you’re like me and you own your own business. In that case, there’s no risk involved at all.
– The second note I want to share is, listen to your intuition
I was pretty candid about my advice,
when in doubt – definitely reach out
Put yourself in their shoes, would you want an entire company of people who you’ve worked with for YEARS to all of a sudden ghost you? I certainly wouldn’t.
But Deep down inside, you know what feels right and what action you should take. I admit, sometimes these situations are a little tricky. Just remember that there is a window to reach out, and if you don’t do it right away, it will get awkward.
But most importantly please listen to your intuition.
– And the third note, which is kinda cheeky, but it’s been a pet peeve of mine.
If someone calls to talk to your former colleague, or asks where they are, please don’t say, Oh, she’s no longer with us. Because that’s what we say when people die, and we don’t want to start spreading THAT rumour, do we?
So If someone calls for a colleague, be prepared with what you’re going to say. A good safe bet is, She’s no longer with the company, and quickly follow it up with “is there something that I can help you with” or “Can I help you find the answer you’re looking for”
But Please don’t say, she’s no longer with us,
To recap this segment,
80% of jobs are never posted online
LinkedIn is awesome – It’s like insurance for your career
Use your intuition
And don’t tell people your old colleague is dead, ok?
SEGMENT 4:
OK it’s time to start wrapping up this episode:
Let’s recap what you just learned today::
I’m Pretty emphatic with my opinion, if you haven’t noticed:
when in doubt – definitely reach out
Watch for your Stay Quiet Saboteurs, who will give you BS excuses to NOT reach out for fear of discomfort.
Remember, there’s a window to reach out, after that it just gets awkward
Put yourself in their shoes.
Don’t expect to make things better with your words, that’s not the objective here.
80% of jobs are never posted online
And most importantly, Offer to help, be the GOOD human that I know you are.
I want to send a massive thank you to my client, for bringing up a great topic,
one that we can all benefit from
And if you have any questions from this episode, or existential, deep questions about your life, why you’re here, what you’re meant for, then I would love to hear from you.
I can’t stand small talk about the weather or politics, but I love a good, deep conversation about life purpose, impact or a general feeling that you’re spiritually bankrupt. It’s all good, trust me, I’ve heard it ALL.
If you want to chat, head over to my website and book at consult with me, head to thecorporateyogi.com
That’s all for now,
Thanks for tuning in today
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